I'm starting school again soon and I have mixed feelings about it. I've been out of school for over a year and in that time I haven't done much of anything except do an internship and get ready to sell my house and move. I have mixed feelings about going back. I mean I completely bored at home so it will give me something to do,but I'm also kinda nervous. It's stupid I know, b/c I've always done well in my classes. i know I've just got the first day of school jitters. anyway on monday I'm hitting the local vet clinics and putting applications which also makes me nervous, once i start doing a job i'm fine but until I know how its going to be i really start pysching myself out. I'm also lazy by nature and that makes it easy to put of searching for a job, but now I really want one and kinda need one for the experience. But filling out applications gives me an inferiority complex. I know what the problem with in my life is, I don't have anything really wrong to bitch about so I have to get all tangled in my head so I can feel normal. Also I'm currently waiting on a shippment of books to come in it said three day delivery and then they had to reschedule it so it won't arrive until tuesday instead of tomorrow like it should and that really takes away my planned escapism for the weekend and also locks me into rereading stuff until the new stuff comes in so I don't get sucked in to something new that I can't put down even though I'd rather be reading one the books I ordered. it's stupid I know but it feels like you are insulting a book if you don't finish it once you pick it up and that is something i seldom do. I've been staying up too late lately. I mean one time I stayed up until ten the next morning then slept until 4pm. I'm really turning nocturnal. It's b/c its so damn hot during the day. you can sleep fine under a fan but reading is a bitch. On an average day this week I've been staying anywhere from 5am to 7am and sleeping until 1 or 2 pm. I know I'm rambling about a wide variety of topics but have you ever had a book that you wanted to read b/c you wanted a character to find peace but you were afraid to read it b/c you didn't want to know the price of that peace or were afraid of the journey to the end. The series I'm reading is the black dagger brotherhood and this is the story of the last of the brothers and in the other ones it seemed that for one of them to find peace another one was pushed that much closer to the edge of the abyss. I mean they all pretty much start in their own private hells but as one finds his way out another is pushed closer to the point of no return. this book is about the last ones road and I'm afraid of the price and I wonder who will have to bear it. I already no that the author is not afraid to kill off beloved characters so yeah I'm anxious to plow my way through this book and it won't get here until tuesday. anyway I gotta go it looks like tonight it gonna be another long night.